{"success":true,"data":{"id":"7ed36da3-758d-4ab5-b147-96351bdb55df","title":"My Wife Used to Date My Brother. She Drunkenly Told Me Something About Him That I Can’t Unhear.","summary":"AccountAccountSign out Menu Menu Light Light Dark Auto Light Light Dark Auto My Wife Used to Date My Brother. She Drunkenly Told Me Something About Him That I Can’t Unhear. She doesn’t even remember saying it. Advice by Rich Juzwiak July 11, 2026 12:00 PM Photo illustration by Slate.","content":"*   Account[Account](https://slate.com/account)[Sign out](https://slate.com/sign-out)  \n\nMenu Menu\n\n Light \n\n Light  Dark  Auto \n\n Light \n\n Light  Dark  Auto \n\n# My Wife Used to Date My Brother. She Drunkenly Told Me Something About Him That I Can’t Unhear.\n\n## She doesn’t even remember saying it.\n\n Advice by [Rich Juzwiak](https://slate.com/author/rich-juzwiak)\n\nJuly 11, 2026 12:00 PM\n\nPhoto illustration by Slate. Photo by [cesar fernandez dominguez](https://www.gettyimages.com/search/2/image?artistexact=cesar%20fernandez%20dominguez)/Getty Images Plus.\n\nOnly Slate Plus members can gift Slate stories. [Become a member](https://slate.com/plus?redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fslate.com%2Fadvice%2F2026%2F07%2Fsex-wife-brother-advice-drunk-tequila.html%3Fvia%3Drss) to share 10 free articles a month.\n\n_How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column._**_Have a question?_**[**_Send it to Jessica and Rich here_**](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdx34-uOijrCIKqMdw5hnyYahSJBKa4AaSzDCu1nfcpmd3IjA/viewform)**_._**_It’s anonymous!_\n\n**Dear How to Do It,**\n\nMy wife dated my brother briefly before she and I got together. It wasn’t anything personal between them; she and I were just a better fit personality-wise together. Over the holiday weekend, she had a few too many while we were celebrating, and she let something slip that really devastated me.\n\nIn short, she joked that my brother was way better in bed than I am. She was so smashed she doesn’t remember saying it. I didn’t confront her directly, but asked if she wanted to discuss anything she said the morning after the party. I’ve been incredibly hurt since. Should I write it off as the booze talking, or would it be worth it to tell her what she said and how it affected me?\n\n—In Tequila, Truth\n\nSlate Video Content\n\n**Dear In Tequila, Truth,**\n\nIf you can avoid being offended by thinking things through rationally and not taking them personally, that’s always the best option. It will allow your relationship to metabolize the problematic incident quickly and completely. It also will allow you to discuss surrounding issues without much drama. Of course, that’s a huge task. Sometimes feelings do get in the way and they need to be processed as a couple before the relationship can resume its (presumably) peaceful nature. Because you have been upset about your wife’s apparent admission ever since she revealed it, you probably should pursue some clarity here, but be careful what you wish for.\n\nIf you jog your wife’s memory, it will be helpful for you to check for consistency. You wrote that she “joked” that your brother was better than you in bed. If she responds to your inquiry with a similarly humored tone, it’ll be easier to trust that this was always intended to be a joke. Perhaps you can accept it as such. I understand that there is some fear that there’s truth at the root of this joke, as is the case with so many jokes. Maybe this is an opportunity for more understanding of what your wife prizes during sex. Maybe there is some room for you to grow or try things that you haven’t that really turn her on. Besides some universal values (like consent, consideration, and the willingness to go until your partner is satisfied), “good in bed” is a subjective notion. Approach this conversation with an open mind and you may come out of it with a better idea of how to please your wife.\n\nThe main hazard, as far as I can tell, is that sometimes “good in bed” means good chemistry, which can be inexplicable. Sometimes we click better with some than others for reasons that remain ineffable. If something along these lines is what inspired your wife to make the comment about your brother, you’d probably be out of luck. Sometimes it just works better with some than others. You could take solace in the strength of your match overall (sex isn’t everything). “Better” does not mean that you are bad, per se. But hopefully the conversation does not go there. Just know that if you pursue this kind of discussion, it might.\n\n—Rich\n\n### More Advice From Slate\n\nI recently found out through a friend that my partner created a fake social media account to message people and trade nudes. When I asked him if he wanted to talk to me about anything he has kept from me, he admitted to having a severe porn addiction that he’s been trying and failing to recover from. I feel like I’m complicit if I forgive him. [Any thoughts on how to come to terms with a relationship with a porn addict?](https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/01/husband-secret-i-just-discovered-what-hes-been-hiding-and-im-lost.html)\n\n# Never miss new Slate Advice columns\n\nGet the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n\n Thanks for signing up! You can [manage your newsletter subscriptions](https://slate.com/newsletters) at any time. \n\n You're already subscribed to the Advice newsletter. 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Zekear | [Sponsored](https://popup.taboola.com/en/?template=colorbox&utm_source=slatecom&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=thumbs-feed-3x1-adjusted:Below%20Article%20Thumbnails%20-%20User%20Group:%200%20|%20Card%201:)[Sponsored](https://popup.taboola.com/en/?template=colorbox&utm_source=slatecom&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=thumbs-feed-3x1-adjusted:Below%20Article%20Thumbnails%20-%20User%20Group:%200%20|%20Card%201:) Shop Now](https://zekear.com/products/magnetic-detachable-portable-neck-fan \"The Cooling Fan Everyone Wants During Heatwaves\")","source_name":"Slate","source_url":"https://slate.com/advice/2026/07/sex-wife-brother-advice-drunk-tequila.html?via=rss","url":"https://slate.com/advice/2026/07/sex-wife-brother-advice-drunk-tequila.html?via=rss","author":"Rich Juzwiak","author_name":"Rich Juzwiak","published_at":"2026-07-11T16:00:00.000Z","publication_date":"2026-07-11T16:00:00.000Z","image_url":"https://compote.slate.com/images/e8d91ffc-64bc-4542-bf93-d766787cf4ee.gif?crop=1560%2C1040%2Cx0%2Cy0","category":"world","topic":"world","tags":[],"political_bias":null,"bias_score":null,"confidence_score":null,"credibility_score":null,"factual_quality":null,"reading_time":5,"word_count":890,"view_count":0,"breaking":false,"breaking_news":false,"ai_analysis":null,"fact_check_status":"unverified","archive_status":"hot"}}